He wondered all the time what it would be like. To be the first, just once. The first one in, to smell nothing but the two of them, to feel nothing but slick tightness, to kiss lips that weren't already swollen raw. He asked, once, if they could change the line-up, but they all looked at him as if he'd lost his mind. It just didn't seem fair. He hadn't picked third, but neither had anyone else, Lance told him. That's just the way it was.
So JC continued to go first. Both of them looking coltish and lanky, twined in some erotic tableau, Justin's head thrown back like a woman's. Then Chris, with his rapid, jerky thrusts, quick and to the point, seemingly bored, beating Justin's prostate. Joey, third-in-line, third-wheel, third-class, third-rate, third-fucking-place. Lance was last and in the beginning Joey thought that was worse, but Lance got to hold Justin afterwards and whisper in his ear while he stroked his trembling body over and over again.
Eventually, he even stopped watching, learning to tune out Justin's soft moans and the rhythmic slapping and the overwhelming scent of sex until Chris touched his shoulder. Then he'd go, sliding effortlessly into Justin, pumping into his lax body, while Justin watched him with sleepy hooded eyes and never said a word. Afterwards, he'd lean in close and smell nothing but sweat and come and press against those sluttish, spit-slick lips and he knew that he wasn't kissing Justin so much as licking away the remains of JC and Chris.
Then he wondered what it would be like to be first at others things. To be the first to simply pull JC away from Justin and push him to his knees. Or run his tongue over Lance's ear instead of simply placing his hand on his shoulder; to slap Justin on the thigh and yell at him to fucking move his ass for once. He even thought about being the first to ask them to take him instead. Then he just wanted to be the first to walk away and not look back.
Sometimes, he thought he was being a little obsessive. Maybe. But then it was his turn again, and he'd look into Justin's face and hate being third and then he started to hate Justin. So when he found him sleeping, looking a lot like he did when he was under Joey, he thought about being third and being number one.
A quick stop by the dresser, flicking through the bandannas until he found one worn soft from wear. Convenient, and somewhat twisted, that Justin provided his own gag. He smiled and said Justin's name, softly.
For once, Joey was gonna be first.
Thanks to K