Joey blew a dismissive snort between his lips and replied, "You've got to be kidding. Lance outweighs twig boy by a good forty pounds."
Justin's lips curled, "You and childbearing hips..."
"Hey! Lance is rock solid."
"With childbearing hips," Justin added. "Besides, I meant... you know."
Joey's forehead furrowed.
"You know... JC's... is longer."
"Ha!" Joey shook his head, "You little size queen. First of all, how would you know? Second of all, Lance is thicker."
Justin's jaw dropped, and he stared, wide-eyed, at Joey.
"What? You thought you were his first?"
Justin's face grew dark and pouty. "Leave it to you to have measured..."
"Hey," Joey's voice softened. "Sorry. Didn't mean to rub your face in it, but you were dissing my man. I had to defend his honor."
"Because Lance'd defend yours..."
"I got no honor to defend."
"I still say JC's the better boyfriend."
"No way, but go ahead and keep trying to convince me." Joey leaned back.
"He's so creative..."
"Yeah, and Lance is such an uncreative untalented lump."
Justin punched Joey's arm. "I mean, JC writes ballads and love songs and pop and soul and everything. He'd write a symphony for me if I asked him. He's so romantic."
"Lance sends me flowers for no reason. And notes. Cards. Romantic. Intimate. He treats me like a king."
"JC's eyes are prettier."
"I guess if you like blue..."
"What's wrong with blue eyes?" Justin asked.
"Nothing," Joey shrugged. "I prefer green."
"I like having a boyfriend with prettier eyes and than me," Joey added, batting his lashes.
"What gave me away?"
Ignoring the sidetrack, Justin continued, "Making love to JC... it's like... it's so intense..."
Joey rolled his eyes, "I know. I know. I've heard you..." Justin punched Joey's arm again. "What? You're a screamer. I room next you."
"Yeah, so why haven't I heard you?"
A wry smile played across Joey's mouth, and he locked his gaze on Justin. "Because, when Lance comes his voice is so deep and soft I can barely hear him if my ear is by his mouth, and when he makes me come, it feels too good to make a sound."
"It shuts you up?" Justin asked.
"Can't say a word."
"Listen sometime. If it's quiet in the room, I'm coming."
Justin's face registered stunned silence for a moment, then he thought it through more carefully and punched Joey's arm a third time.
"What's the problem, children?" Chris asked, bounding over to the table and throwing his arms over their shoulders.
"We're arguing over who has the best boyfriend," Joey explained.
"Ah. Well, that'd be me, but you're both really lucky. Luckier than me."
"Why?" Justin asked.
"Because, infant, even though I'm having better sex than all four of you put together, my man and I deserve each other. You've both got boyfriends who are too good for you; take care of you and put you first and make you better people. I mean, what if they'd hooked up with each other? Then where'd you be?" Chris planted a kiss on their cheeks, one after the other. "Stuck with each other; that's where. Ponder that." Chris slapped their backs and skipped away.
They watched him leave, and Joey said, "Fucking a Backstreet Boy has obviously affected his brain."
"Must be," Justin agreed softly.
They turned back to face each other, silence thick between them for a moment.
Justin moved first. "Let me out, Joe. I want... I think maybe I'll pick up some flowers for JC."
"Yeah," Joey agreed, "I... Uh... I haven't done something nice for Lance in a while..." They stood next to each other beside the table. "I mean, I love you, man..."
"But not like that. Not like JC," Justin said.
"Not like Lance," Joey agreed. "He's right. We're two lucky SOBs, Jup."
"Yo, got that right, Joe."