Feedback will be *very* much appreciated, because I'll be able to
incorporate suggestions into the final version. <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Disclaimer: Blah, blah, Paramount.
Archiving: <shrug> Might as well. R'rain, PKSP.
Warning: Yes, Tom and Harry fuck. Each other. I can't see why that would
be a problem for anyone.
Morning Glory 1/2 (VOY, P/K, NC-17)
copyright julad 1998
I often wonder how Starfleet manages to make sense of psych evaluations. I
mean, people are so complex; such confusing, contrary creatures that
absolutely anything can be said to be true of them at one time or another.
We deceive ourselves as much as we decieve each other. We lie about
ourselves without knowing we are lying. We can even tell the truth without
recognising it as such. So, do the evaluators ever get under the skin of a
person and find out what actually makes them tick? Can they discern which
motives *really* drive actions, and accurately detect the true emotional
states through which our reality is filtered? Can they sift through the
outer layers of projected personality and comprehend the underlying
persona? I guess what I'm wondering is this: Which Harry Kim, and which
Tom Paris, did Starfleet think they were recruiting?
When I had my evaluation, I thought I was being honest. So, did the
psychologist believe in the same Harry that I believed I was? I thought I
was a straightforward person: honest, hardworking, loyal. Modest. Oh yes,
I knew I was smart as all hell, I knew I was an academy Golden Boy, but
what with all my friends and family and lovers and teachers adoring me, I
had never in my life needed to assert my own greatness. So, did Starfleet
believe the humble confidence and self-assurance that I carried on the
outside, or did they read deeper than I had, and see the deep-hidden terror
of failing, and even worse, the arrogant certainty that it would never
happen to me? So far it hasn't, really, but how many times have I
carelessly tossed my career, even my life, on the line, without thinking
that I could actually lose it? I owe three lives over, maybe more, to
cordrazine and last minute beam-outs and sacrifices made by someone other
than myself. Did Starfleet know, when they made me operations officer on
Voyager, that I honestly don't believe in the event of my own death?
And the same goes for Tom. Why did they accept him into the academy?
Could they look at a member of a Starfleet royal family, and believe he had
ever been given an option of doing something else with his life? Tom's
sullen resentment of his father's insistence could well have manifested as
rebellion against Starfleet principles. Yet even then, Tom tells me,
flight called him, and the stars beckoned.
That's why I think they must know, not us, but our abilities. Because no
matter what his personal feelings toward Starfleet are, Tom thinks like a
pilot. He's not especially book-smart, he has no mind for theory, but he
thinks in motion. Momentum, inertia, acceleration, and velocity. He sees
the three-dimensional patterns of objects moving within space, and
understands instinctively the forces that govern and direct them. People,
too. He sees the forces that propel them, the forces which resist their
movement and can predict the pattern which results. It's what makes him a
holoprogrammer as well as a pilot. He simplifies characters into their
governing forces, and it gives them depth and authenticity that many more
detailed programs lack. That perception is why some people find Tom's
teasing so annoying, and some, like me, just can't stay away.
And me, he tells me that I'm governed by mathematics and music. Once
hearing it, I knew it was true. Those are the two forces which make up the
yin and yang of my soul. I hear harmonies in the function of Voyager's
systems, see a complex but perfectly balanced equation in the relationship
between her captain and first officer. I hear a glorious counterpoint in
B'Elanna's wild speculations and Carey's pragmatic rebuttals. I hear music
and mathamatics in delta quadrant chaos, and they're the source of my calm,
and I hear chaos and music in the statistics of Operations, and they're the
source of my creativity.
Ah. My creativity. The reason for my current aimless musings. I was
deciding how to wake Tom up today, and wondering how I can take such
delight in making my predictability unpredictable. Predictable because
it's nearly 0600 and I always wake Tom at six. Predictable because I woke,
as I have every day since I entered the academy, at precisely five hundred,
and worked on reports and research with my lover nestled warm and oblivious
at my side, as I have every day for the eight weeks we've been together.
And unpredictable, because when Tom drifts off to sleep in my arms at
night, he never knows how the next day will begin.
Once, in a fit of cynically romantic poeticism, he dubbed it 'Morning
Glory'. The source of the phrase is lost on me, but the beauty of it
isn't. Mornings *are* glorious with Tom. This is my favourite part of the
day, the hour I spend with my lover before we report to the bridge for
duty. It's my favourite thing, to wake him in a different way every day.
It's more than a game to me, it's an unspoken challenge to the routine
forced on this relationship by duty and confinement. Tom and I work
together, eat together, socialize together, and now sleep together.
Boredom and stagnation, while not inevitable, are the greatest threat to
our happiness as lovers. Hence the determination on my part to make every
morning special and unique.
Sometimes he wakes with his cock growing stiff in my mouth as I suck gently
on the silky head. Sometimes I whisper sweet, dirty nothings in his ear
and they infiltrate dream after dream until their urgency brings him to
consciousness. Sometimes I straddle his hips and stroke myself, shifting
gently over him, and anticipating the moment when his cock hardens in
response. Then I lower myself onto it, and blue eyes open to see me
bringing myself off, surrendering completely to the exquisite feeling of
his erection throbbing inside me. And then sometimes he wakes to feel my
hand curled around him and my slicked arousal pressing at the opening to
his body, and always before his eyes are open, he begins the day with a
breathy, whispered "*yes*".
Oh, don't think it's all sex and sweetness though. The reality is usually
far from pretty. Tom actually hates waking up more than anyone I've ever
known. He is very damn bloody-minded about it, to tell the truth. If my
methods don't have the promise of immediate pleasure, he'll ignore my
attempts at rousing him, or curse me roundly and pull the pillow over his
head. And to add insult to injury, he usually blames *me* for his
reluctance to get up. Ha! As if he's the *only* one who expended all his
energy the night before.
There actually is one failsafe way of getting him out of bed. I discovered
it when we first started sleeping together. Unfortunately it doesn't last
long, but it's kind of fun sometimes. I used to get up at five and work on
my reports at the table in his quarters, but after I'd been out of bed for
a couple of minutes, some unerring sense of Tom's would alert him to my
absence. I'd hear him swear hoarsely and then he'd stagger out, bristly
and more than half asleep, to find me. The corners of my mouth are
twitching at the memories of him picking me up and dragging me across the
room, then dumping me unceremoniously in the bed and curling up around me,
content once more. He'd do it every time he woke up alone. These days I
usually don't bother trying to get up without him, I just grab datapadds
quickly and then work in bed while Tom sleeps happily at my side.
Sometimes I feel like a glorified teddy-bear, but I adore him for finding a
bed so horribly empty without me in it. I forgive his shitty morning
temper tantrums, his laziness, his stubbornness, just because he wants so
badly for me to be there.
Now, listening to my own indulgent thoughts, I'm starting to think that I'm
far too easy on him in the morning. He gets everything he asks for, even
breakfast replicated from *my* rations, just because he looks so gorgeous
when he's tousled and sleepy and confused. And if I have the nerve to deny
him what he wants, he just rolls over and starts snoring again. Ignores
*me*, after all I do for him. Hmmmph! A bucket of cold water seems like
Tom's well-deserved wake-up call now.
Hmmm, cold water...
That's a *very* tempting thought. I can see it clearly in my head, and I
can't help smirking at the mental picture: Tom leaping out of bed with a
yelp and standing there dripping and spluttering, electric blue eyes wide
with disbelief. There'd be curses and accusations and threats, but he
wouldn't be ignoring me, that's for sure. And then I'd have a whole hour
of his revenge to look forward to. Oh shit, I can't stop giggling now.
Good thing flyboy is still totally oblivious.
This idea's too good to use right away. It'll be more fun to save it up
for a special occasion. When he's been flirting with Megan or B'Elanna to
make me jealous, maybe. I'll certainly enjoy the anticipation. Every time
he teases me from now on, I'll be picturing his warm fuzzy dreams being
rudely interrupted by icy cold water.
Still, I can tease him this morning as well. There's no reason I should
let him take my tolerance for granted, is there? Today's plan is forming
in my mind now. I call up a few schematics on the various padds scattered
in the sheets, and immerse myself in them until I can get the smirk off my
face and my tell-tale erection is gone. Then I shake him awake.
"Tom, wake up, I need to ask you something." I keep shaking him.
"Nnnnnghhrrr." He's definitely annoyed. Good.
"Hey, just wake up will you?" His eyes are slowly opening, so I pretend
I'm still lost in the data on the padd I'm holding, and absently shake his
"Nnnrrwhat?" He knocks my hand away but I don't look up at him, just pick
up another padd.
"I've been thinking about that problem we have getting emergency power to
the impulse engines. I need to know something."
"What?" I recognize that tone of voice. It means 'what' as in, 'I don't
know what you're talking about, but if you don't explain yourself now and
if the explanation is not to my liking, I'll be responding with deadly
force.' Tom can be very eloquent at times. And I can be very blithe.
"Is there ever a situation in which a pilot would need to drop the ship out
of warp and *immediately* engage maneuvering thrusters? Or go directly
from thrusters into warp in under ten seconds? You see, I can possibly
bypass the auxiliary power conduits from the warp drive so that the impulse
reactors can be brought online by..." That was quick. I'm suddenly pinned
to the bed with a very cranky, stubbly pilot glaring in my face.
"Harry Liu Kim," he growls, "I may love you, and I may owe my every scrap
of happiness to you, but if you've woken me at six to talk about
Operations, I'm going to have to kill you."
"Well," I offer in my most reasonable tone of voice, "the discussion about
the engines should only take ten minutes, and that leaves us about forty
minutes for me to reward you for your assistance."
Tom snorts and rolls over, pulling the covers tightly around him. "I'll
take another fifty minutes sleep and a quick fuck in the shower, thanks."
Okay, so he's genuinely shit off, but now so am I. "Oh, that's romantic!"
"You're the one who woke me to talk about warp drives and conduits," comes
the muffled reply.
"Yeah, and then I was going make love to you until you were delirious with
pleasure. But don't worry, I'll find something better to do while you
waste our morning snoring." I throw all the datapadds onto the floor and
start crawling out of bed. An arm slides around my waist and pulls me
"I'm sorry, baby," Tom whispers, kissing my face. "Stay here and I'll show
you romantic." He starts sucking gently on my neck, and my anger dissolves
instantly. This is exactly what I wanted: a morning of *him* being nice to
*me*, rather than the usual reverse. I'm thinking about telling him that
the 'shop talk' was only a joke, but then he stops his attentions and
snuggles into me, breathing slowly and deeply. I stare at him indignantly,
but he's oblivious to me again. The bastard! He's going back to sleep! I
lie there and start fuming. That bucket of water is going to make its
debut in about sixty seconds, I think, and what's more, it's coming out of
*his* replicator credits.
Morning Glory 2/2 (VOY, P/K, NC-17)
copyright julad 1998
See part 1 for disclaimer and introduction.
He snuggles closer, and I feel something poking my thigh. Oh, okay, he's
not going back to sleep after all. A hand creeps between my legs, stroking
and scratching, making me shiver. I sigh happily, closing my eyes and
concentrating on the sensations.
"I'm just tired because you wore me out last night," he whispers. His
breath is hot and tingly on my ear, and my erection is returning at the
memory. Tom threatened at dinner last night to fuck me until I screamed,
and I held him to it. He wasn't satisfied with the results until I was on
the brink of orgasm for the third time, and by then I was sobbing and
begging and thought I was going to die if I didn't get release. Then when
he finally let me come, I screamed his name repeatedly and blacked out.
Oh, dammit, I just remembered something else.
He did work pretty hard at doing that, and I didn't wake up to give him
anything in return. Belated guilt makes my face turn red. I guess maybe
he deserved to sleep in this morning. I should have just done clarinet
practise or something till he woke up naturally.
Then my thoughts return to the present because his hand is stroking my
balls and I can only moan incoherently as all the blood leaves my brain.
Apparently I'm forgiven.
Tom rolls over onto my stomach and grins in my face. "Care for an encore
performance?" Those fingers travel lower and start teasing my ass. I moan
again, and they descend into the crack. It stings and I can't help but
"Sorry, but you can't go there," I tell him apologetically. "Too sore."
Tom wriggles provocatively against me, wicked lust in his eyes. "So go fix
it with the regenerator."
"But I *want* to be sore." I wriggle under him in response. "I want a
reminder of what you did to me."
My lover pins me with a look of exaggerated patience, as if speaking to a
two-year-old. "So go fix it, and I'll make it sore again." Then he beams
a glorious smile at me. "It'll be fun!"
I groan, and push him off me. "There's no time. I'll have to make *you*
Tom stretches out on his back. "Oh, I don't know about that," he says
airily. "I need to be convinced that it's a good idea."
Oh, no way. I'm going to fuck him senseless, but I'm not going to let him
be difficult about it. There's no time, and besides, *I'm* the one who
calls the shots in the morning. If it's convincing he wants... I move in
between his legs, take his cock in my mouth and suck hard. Tom arches his
back and mutters something about subtlety. Well, I've had it with talking,
so I deep-throat him in response. He shudders and moans, but I don't let
up in the slightest. Instead, I use one hand to fondle his balls, and slip
the other hand under him, searching for his crack. One finger slips inside
and as I use it to stroke his prostate, he groans and thrusts up into my
"Alright, alright, fuck me already," he gasps.
I release him and he shoves the crumpled sheet out of the way and gets on
his hands and knees for me. I'm not giving it to him right away though. I
put my hands in the small of his back and push until he's lying flat on the
bed, then I nudge his legs until they are spread wide. He whimpers in
Oh God. I love the sound of Tom when he's like this: vulnerable and
needy. And he looks gorgeous, head to the side, muscles tensing through
the long, lean body, lying prone on dishevelled bedclothes. And that sweet
round ass is so inviting I can't stay away from it another second. I
pounce, touching, stroking, squeezing, kissing, sucking, biting.
Everything about it looks and tastes and feels wonderful. I could feast on
Tom's ass all day, but unfortunately I have other things I have to do, so I
drag myself away. Quick lubrication, and then I push my erection inside
*Oh* *God*. I could stay like this all day too. It feels so incredibly
good to be this close to him, pressing every part of my skin to his and
feeling the tight, slick heat of him surround me. The sensations rushing
through my aching cock are sending me out of my head too soon, and I
breathe deeply to calm myself, inhaling the scent of him and sweat and
sex. Tom whimpers again and tries to move under me, so I lean forward and
flick my tongue over his ear. Having that done only makes me giggle, but
it drives Tom absolutely wild with lust. As he moans incoherently, I
withdraw slowly and then thrust even deeper into him, licking his other ear
when it comes into reach. The slow torture makes my beautiful lover cry my
name, so I keep doing it: long hard thrust, lick his ear, and slowly pull
back while he shivers with pleasure and desire.
The sight and sound of him under me is clouding my mind with crimson want,
but only when his moans are constant do I give into my own pressing need
for release. I pull him up until he's on hands and knees, and reach around
to grab his seeping erection. Then I let him have it.
The last shreds of my control dissolve as I thrust savagely into him, and
his cries and mine are indistinguishable as we quickly climb the wave of
ecstasy towards climax. He sobs aloud and I fuck him harder, faster. The
pressure is unbearable now and I see stars in the red haze and I hear a
rushing sound in my ears and my body tenses and Tom calls out to me as he
comes. He tightens around me and I thrust as deep as I can and the world
turns white and oh god the pleasure is ripping my soul apart, oh *god*,
*OH* *GOD*, orgasm slams viciously through me and I'm screaming too, and
flying and falling and dying with the sheer agony and ecstasy of it...
My body collapses on top of his, gasping and trembling.
My mind still soars through the stars on wings of rapture and exultation.
Slowly my breathing calms and I can feel my limbs again and they're still
tingling with aftershocks. Wow. Where did *that* come from? Usually in
the morning, sex is playful and lazy. That fuck rivals our first time
together, so sudden and intense. I kiss Tom's shoulder and taste salty
sweat. It's delicious and I suck his neck and throat languidly, wanting to
taste more. He stirs finally, and kisses my face and lips, whispering
words of love. I hold him closer for a minute, but then he rolls me off
him and pulls my arms around his waist until I'm spooned up behind him,
drifting peacefully. He sighs contentedly and his eyes are closed and I
That son of a bitch! He's gone back to sleep! And if my internal clock is
right, we are already running very damn late. I check the time, and now
it's my turn to start swearing. We don't even have time for breakfast, and
after last night and this morning, I am very fucking hungry. And since Tom
is in no state to get ready, I'll have to do everything for both of us.
I clamp down my temper and drag my bleary-eyed lover into the shower, wash
us quickly and hand Tom a towel while I shove my uniform on and straighten
up my hair a bit. When I'm done I dress Tom roughly, and finally he's
awake enough to shave himself while I run a comb through his short curls.
Then we quickly rinse our teeth with dental solution, and I slap our
communicators on and drag him towards the door, still cursing God and
clocks and Starfleet.
At he door, Tom stops me. His seraphic smile keeps me from protesting as
he slips his arms around my waist and lowers his lips to mine. They are so
warm and inviting, moving gently over my mouth until I open it and his
tongue slips inside and I can taste him, fresh and clean and delicious.
After a very thorough kiss my bad temper is gone, my limbs are tingling
again and apparently Starfleet can just go to hell, because I'm kissing him
back passionately. Surprisingly, it's Tom who breaks it off and leads me
along the corridor and into the turbolift. The doors shut and he kisses me
again, using warm, moist, talented lips to make me dissolve in his
embrace. He pulls away just as the doors open onto the bridge.
With the eyes of the crew on us, Tom squeezes my hand and brushes the hair
off my forehead. There is a love and mischief in his eyes as he speaks
softly in my ear.
Then he leaves my side and sits down at the conn, and somehow I have to
bring my mind back down from cloud nine and listen to updates on sensors,
shields and controls. Still, I can't keep the stupid smile off my face as
I remember the past hour. Every single thing about getting Tom out of bed
*is* glorious, and it definitely was a good morning.