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<h1>The Queer as Folk Grocery Store Challenge</span>
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<div class="blog">

<div class="blogbody">

<h3 class="title">Once Upon a Time<br>
by <a href="mailto:juteux0519@yahoo.com">Juteux</a> / <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/juteux">Juteux</a>

</h3>

<p>“Make sure it’s vanilla. And non-fat. And then make sure you check the date on it, Daph, because I don’t want you coming home with old yogurt.”</p>

<p>“I know that I have to check the date.” She’s mildly annoyed as she examines the yogurt selection in the dairy aisle. Justin is ordering her around, when she’s the one who’s nice enough to buy his groceries! “Okay, so that’s strawberry yogurt with extra fat. Check.”</p>

<p>“Daphne!”</p>

<p>“Justin, I’m kidding.” She shifts her cell phone to her other ear and grabs a couple cartons, throwing them into her basket. “God, since when do you have such deep feelings for yogurt?”</p>

<p>“I don’t care, Brian does. He’ll only eat it if it’s non-fat.”</p>

<p>She gasps in mock amazement. “You mean the holy Saint Brian eats?! I thought he subsisted on air and blowjobs.”</p>

<p>“That’s what I used to think too, but then one day I caught him sneaking Ben & Jerry’s at three in the morning. And once, I even saw him eat a whole sandwich.”</p>

<p>“Wow.”</p>

<p>“I know.”</p>

<p>She strolls over to the juice section, checking out the varieties of orange juice. “You owe me like a million favours for this, you know that?”</p>

<p>He sighs. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just that we really need food, and Brian’s sick--”</p>

<p>“I’m NOT sick,” Daphne hears distantly in the background. She grins. </p>

<p>Justin coughs. “Well, I have this project to finish anyway, and if I don’t I’m dead fucking meat. And it’s hard to concentrate when I have to take care of this SICK baby--”</p>

<p>Brian’s voice again. “I’m NOT fucking sick!”</p>

<p>Sounds of a brief struggle follow, with a yelp from Justin, and finally he comes back on the line, slightly out of breath. “Uh…Daph? I have to go. Thanks again for the groceries. Love you.” And he disconnects. </p>

<p>She stands staring at her phone for several seconds, ridiculously thrilled by the “love you.” She can’t remember the last time Justin said that to her. Possibly he never has. Huh.</p>

<p>And that’s when it happens. </p>

<p>So she’s standing by the juices, debating between pulp and pulp-free, and trying to figure out if the pulp adds any extra calories, when she hears someone nearby mention St. James. She thinks it might be an old friend or former classmate, so she glances up eagerly and then she sees him standing by the frozen pizzas, hand in hand with a small brunette girl. </p>

<p>“…assistant coach for their football team next year,” Chris is saying to the girl. </p>

<p>She beams. “That’s great, honey! Hey, do you want pepperoni?”</p>

<p>“Let’s get one vegetarian and one pepperoni.” </p>

<p>“Okay, but make sure it’s thin crust.”</p>

<p>Daphne can just stand and stare stupidly at Chris and his girlfriend as they discuss pizza toppings and she thinks that this is probably one of the more bizarre ways she imagined encountering Chris Hobbes for the first time after the attack. </p>

<p>Okay. Calm, calm. Do not panic. </p>

<p>Daphne orders herself to breathe. </p>

<p>She wonders how Justin felt, seeing Chris for the first time. But he was still so fucked up then, he could barely go into a crowded room without have a panic attack. Nevermind the effect his attacker himself would have. </p>

<p>Justin is mostly better, now. He never mentions the bashing, and Daphne doesn’t ask. Ever since that horrible day she and Brian tried so desperately, so foolishly, to make Justin remember something – <i>anything</i> – they haven’t really talked about it. </p>

<p>If Justin were here – now that Justin is mostly better - she wonders if he would go up to Chris and punch him in the face. Scream at him all the ugly words he has bottled up inside. Daphne has so many ugly words she would love to scream, but then again, this isn’t her fight to fight. </p>

<p>She wonders if he does want to talk about it. Daphne itches to. She wants to sit down with Justin and have a conversation, a real conversation, about his feelings and his hand and what it was like to think that he may never draw again. What was it like to know that the one thing he has absolute passion for might be taken away? Daphne’s never been passionate about anything, really, and she doesn’t mind this; slumping apathetically into a pattern of high school – homework – graduation – college – homework is par for the course for her generation. Daphne is going to go to school for the next four years, and another four years after that, and maybe another four years after that – and she’s not quite sure why. When someone asks Daphne if she has direction, she points to her class schedule and says, “Well, I’m studying biology.” </p>

<p>Justin is a kid who has direction. </p>

<p>She wishes she could tell him that. She wishes he would tell her all the things best friends are supposed to say, but Brian is Justin’s best friend now and Daphne knows this. And she loves Brian, but sometimes she looks at that pretty face and thinks, “You may love him and fuck him and pay for him, but I was the one who helped him ride his bike and built snow forts with him and went trick-or-treating with him. I was here first!” While it’s really not Brian’s fault, at all.</p>

<p>She and Justin still call each other “best friends” out of habit, but it’s a cute little label, like the Gap or non-fat yogurt, that looks good on paper but is basically meaningless.</p>

<p>And she knows, she <i>knows</i>, that all of this is because of the bashing.</p>

<p>Very quietly, Daphne moves closer to Chris, staring blankly at the ice cream section while Chris and his girlfriend pick out milk. They’re talking about college now, and Chris is mentioning all the sports he’s going to play that year and the classes he’s acing and how he thinks he might check out law school after graduation. </p>

<p>Chris is going to law school, while sometimes Justin still can’t use his right hand because it hurts too much from where Chris struck him in the head with a baseball bat. </p>

<p><i>You fucker,</i> she thinks. <i>You absolute fucker for destroying our lives and getting off scot-free. You took my best friend away from me and sent him to live with his lover, and now I only see him once a week or even less because he’s too busy trying to pretend like his life is absolutely perfect. I know the contents of every single vending machine on the third floor of the hospital because I spent every single day of my summer there. I know more about cranium damage than any medical school will every teach me. I was supposed to have the most perfect prom in the whole world because my date was the most perfect guy in the whole world, and instead I spent it getting coffee for Brian as we waited for the doctor to tell us if Justin was going to die. I know what it’s like to see my best friend have a panic attack when he sees a red tablecloth in a restaurant.  Because of you.  </i></p>

<p>Daphne is struck by the emotions that are suddenly pouring out of her, by her small shaking hands that grip her shopping basket a bit too hard. And then she knows why Justin doesn’t talk about the attack. It’s not that he’s afraid, or suppressing it, or trying to make it go away. But sometimes your words are far too ugly to scream. Because if you let them out, they might drown you. Sometimes, Daphne reflects, it’s just easier to tell someone you love them, and do your best dealing with the other stuff. Because, really, what else is there?</p>

<p>Chris and his girlfriend wander away towards the cereal aisle.</p>

<p>Daphne watches them go, takes a deep breath and chooses a carton of Ben & Jerry’s Cherry Garcia. It’s technically for Brian, but it’s Justin’s favourite flavour. They used to stay up late watching Tom Cruise movies and sharing pint after pint, once upon a time. </p>

<p>Daphne finishes picking out Justin’s groceries and pays quickly and efficiently. Chris never sees her, or if he does, he never says anything, and Daphne leaves the store to drop off the groceries at Brian’s place. She knows that when she sees Justin she’ll probably give him an extra hug or offer to buy him a coffee, and when laughs and questions her motives, she won’t be able to tell him why.  </p>

<p>THE END</p>


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<div class="comments-head"><a name="comments"></a>Blather & Guesses</div>


<div class="comments-body">
<p>I'm so completely in love with Daphne.  More specifically these mysterious, unexplanable feelings she has for Justin.  :D<</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/~liasantana">Lia</a> on November  1, 2003 05:50 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Ohmygod, half of my review just disappeared.  </p>

<p>Anyway, I love the intense emotions Daphne has, the possessiveness, protectiveness, the whole unrequited love thing.  The cute little snippet into Brian/Justin's life.  The fact that I somehow relate to Daph's 'directionlessness' and her whole almost-jealousy is so understandable.  </p>

<p>But yeah, I didn't guess anyone.  At first I thought Jenn because of the Daphne love, but then because of my distrustful and paranoid nature, the chance for Jenn writing something that I already associate with her is rather slim.  It could be Rei, or Wrenlet, or hell, anyone of the authors.  </p>

<p>Wails Don’t make me guess! Is it not enough that I love it? >:D<<br />
</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/~liasantana">Lia</a> on November  1, 2003 05:57 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Yeah, Jenn or Rei. Jenn because of the Daphne-Justin unrequited love and Rei because of the Daphne-Chris Hobbes feelings.<br />
</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;rn34&#64;cornell&#46;edu">gradiva</a> on November  1, 2003 06:01 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>now i'm thinking THIS one is Jenn, not the other one.  damn.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/~julad">julad</a> on November  1, 2003 06:13 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Rei or Rachel Anton?</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://altricial.livejournal.com">Anna</a> on November  1, 2003 06:25 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>*goes with "Jenn"*</p>

<p>Ahhh, lovely. And it's so like Daphne and so like US to want that confrontation to happen, and... so like Daphne to realize that it can't. Love.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/wrenlet/">Wrenlet</a> on November  1, 2003 07:39 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I have to go with Jenn... again because of Daphne. But maybe we are being thrown off on purpose...</p>

<p>:::sniff sniff:::</p>

<p>i smell a conspiracy.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;EBoccia&#64;aol&#46;com">Erin</a> on November  1, 2003 07:52 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I have to go with Jenn... again because of Daphne. But maybe we are being thrown off on purpose...</p>

<p>:::sniff sniff:::</p>

<p>i smell a conspiracy.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;EBoccia&#64;aol&#46;com">Erin</a> on November  1, 2003 07:52 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Whoa.  This was incredible.  </p>

<p>I'm gonna say Jenn, cuz you know, Daphne.  And because of all of those intense feelings I got reading this story.  That's how I always feel when reading one of her stories.</p>

<p>Hey Erin, you echoed. </p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;teisfortiger&#64;yahoo&#46;ca">Lucille</a> on November  1, 2003 08:16 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I'm guessing Rei.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://eleveninches.livejournal.com">Erin</a> on November  1, 2003 08:18 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Something about this just says "Rei" to me . . . so, I'll go with my fellow Erin and say Rei.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;tercera21&#64;hotmail&#46;com">E</a> on November  1, 2003 08:30 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Jenn - again because of the Daphne/Justin relationship, which she does so amazingly well. </p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;gbsjohr&#64;att&#46;net">Roz</a> on November  1, 2003 09:05 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Jenn? </p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;juteux0519&#64;yahoo&#46;com">juteux</a> on November  1, 2003 09:46 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I'm going with Rei- she does Daphne so well- & I just adore Daphne in here- and the whole running into Hobbes-thing.  </p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;Viola0069&#64;aol&#46;com">Viola</a> on November  1, 2003 09:55 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Oh wow, I love this. Especially the bittersweet Daphne-Justin. You managed to catch lots of emotions in a just a few moments. Hmmm I know no one else has said this yet, but I think this sounds a lot like Juteux's work. That's my guess :D</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;lozzy_girl&#64;hotmail&#46;com">Loz</a> on November  1, 2003 10:32 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I'm going with Jenn on this - but I also think she wrote another one and man am I ever confused right now. </p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/sisabet/">sisabet</a> on November  1, 2003 10:46 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I am going with Jenn. One reason is because its  Daphne and the other it just seems to be her style of writing when it comes to the Daphne/Justin relationship.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;qafanatic&#64;msn&#46;com">Pisces</a> on November  1, 2003 11:21 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Wow!  I'm not making a guess, but damn!  That was good.  I was totally getting pissed off right along with Daphne.  & I loved Brian's denial of not being sick.  He's not one to admit any weakness.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;weird956&#64;aol&#46;com">Tina</a> on November  2, 2003 10:25 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>I'm going with Rei Kinneas on this one.</p>

<p>Poor Daphne. *pets*</p>

<p>"Daphne’s never been passionate about anything, really, and she doesn’t mind this; slumping apathetically into a pattern of high school – homework – graduation – college – homework is par for the course for her generation. Daphne is going to go to school for the next four years, and another four years after that, and maybe another four years after that – and she’s not quite sure why. When someone asks Daphne if she has direction, she points to her class schedule and says, “Well, I’m studying biology.” "</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/jaymalea">jaymalea</a> on November  2, 2003 10:40 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>ETA...</p>

<p>I almost tagged this one as jenn, but after careful reading, I don't think so. Not quite.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/jaymalea">jaymalea</a> on November  2, 2003 10:41 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Author now posted.</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/josselin">Josselin</a> on November  6, 2003 05:12 AM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>This was a beautiful, heart-wrenching, gut-wrenching story.  And I was so hoping that she would rem him with her cart...</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a href="mailto&#58;davidduanet&#64;cafes&#46;net">Ninebone</a> on November 20, 2003 08:48 PM</span>
</div>

<div class="comments-body">
<p>Hiya,</p>

<p>Just wanted to say how much I enjoyed this.  I don't read a lot of QaFUS fiction, but Jenn rec'ed this as a great Daphne fic so I had to check it out.</p>

<p>I really liked this view of Daphne, the way that it was all from her perspective.  I liked the way that even though she thought about Justin and Brian, she was seperated from the physicality of Justin and Brian.  The focus was completely on her, her reactions and her bitterness, her pain and the way that being Justin's "best friend" isn't fulfilling or satisfying or any of the other things that a strong friendship should be.</p>

<p>I just really liked it.</p>

<p>Annie</p>
<span class="comments-post">Posted by: <a target="_blank" href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/out_there/">Annie</a> on December  8, 2003 10:12 PM</span>
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